Thursday, January 21, 2010

A light in the darkness


Philipians 2:4b-16a
"...Become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life."

Have you ever felt keenly that your citizenship is in another place; and longed to run there for refuge? Today I felt that; perhaps more than I ever have before. I was at work, on my lunch break, and the room was full of my co-workers. All of them are kind, and we enjoy bantering and laughing together. As I sat after lunch chatting and waiting as the clock relentlessly ticked towards the end of my break, uproarious laughter broke out from the opposite end of the small room. I looked up at the huddled group and giggled a bit myself at their laughter, wondering what on earth had struck them as being so funny. One of them made a comment and immediately it slammed me exactly what they were laughing about and looking at; what they were talking about. For a moment I sat, dumbfounded hardly believing my ears at their blatant lewdness. Then I quietly stood up and walked outside, the crisp air blowing on my hot cheeks. I was furious...and flustered.

I remembered that I had prayed, earlier that day as I drove to work, that Christ would be on the forefront of my mind throughout the entire day. That He would help me to shine brightly as a light to my co-workers who may not know Him and to the lonely residents I would serve. And suddenly, I felt like a little, tiny candle flame flickering futily in a darkness so black you could feel it.

I wonder: will a small light do any good in this world? In a place where righteousness is despised, purity is mocked, and my Lord is treated as some sort of a good luck charm that a person can put in their pocket and rub when life gets tough, then put away again the rest of the time?
And again, I wonder: if my light were shining more brightly, might I have had the courage to boldly take a righteous stand instead of leaving the room in disgust? And did my presence and my spirit in that room in any way convict or impact the lives of the souls there? Jim Elliot wrote, "Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road; make me a fork, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me." It's going to take something other than quiet conviction to rock the world of unbelievers and mediocre Christians alike.

If I'm going to call myself a follower of Jesus, how can I be willing to live the "Normal Christian Life"!? Yeah, maybe I'm slightly "weird" or "naive" to those who don't understand my Lord. Maybe even a quiet sign on the journey to point them to Jesus. But by no means radical. By no means a fork in the road.
In short, I am ashamed that I'm a candle flickering in the wind, when I want to be a 'star shining in the universe'. My heart cries,

"Forgive me for being so ordinary, while claiming to know so extra ordinary a God!" -(Again, Jim E.)


I take comfort in this thought, though: the Holy Spirit within me wouldn't stir the coals if they were dead.

9 comments:

  1. Dani,Aren't you so glad you are in the light and not in the darkness? Those coworkers of yours are enjoying life now,but they have a God to answer to one of these days,for their actions and what they say.That kind of makes you have compassion for them,because of what's going to happen when they stand before an almighty God and have to give account of their lives.I guess i'm just babbiling if that's a word.I love you Dani I hope tomorrow is better for you.Your such a wonderful person never change.xoxoxox's from the girls and QT.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sometimes the small flickering light does not realize what a bright shining star it actually is...that in itself makes it extrordinary! You may not realize how many lives you actually make an impact on, with your blog, for example....mine is one. You truly are an amazing young woman!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You have such an amazing depth of perception, always tempered by humility. I'm sure you bring the Father such joy! I'd like to copy this blog and share it with some women at a day retreat our Bible study is hosting during holy week. The topic is something like, "Living Lives of integrity in Babylon." Do I have your permission? Love ya, cuz.

    ReplyDelete
  4. dear lizzie,
    i "ditto" the previous comments.
    hope to you see you soon and spend some special time together.....hugs!
    chica

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey Dani!! Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you!!continue to shine your light! God Bless! =))

    ReplyDelete
  6. bless your heart...i have no doubt that you are Shining. that's a great pic! Happy Bday!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi, Dani!

    Teri Aeschliman sent me your blog address this morning, and I just finished reading through all your posts. I have been incredibly encouraged by your Christ-honoring words! I'm looking forward to reading as you post more!

    ~Amanda, aka, Rosebud

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you all so much for your comments; Cherie, Anon., Cuz, Chica, and Kimberly! You are so sweet.
    And nice to meet you, Amanda! Thanks for stopping by! I'd love to check out your blog; send me an invite @ Dani85@wadsnet.com! :)
    And Lois, it's snowing right now which I love but... I could use a warm dose of Southeast Asia at the moment! Just one afternoon on Samosa Island and I think I'd be happy. :)
    God bless!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dani, ugh, I feel like smoking flax lately... not even enough to be a flickering candle. Thinking a lot about being a light to those around me... your post was so timely. Isn't He good with "coincidences" like that? :)

    Miss you girl... Love, Alex Brace <3

    ReplyDelete

Thanks--I'll be thrilled to hear from you!