The Epic Battle of Dad and Shelob

It's Wednesday night, about 6:48.
We were supposed to leave for church approximately 3 minutes ago.
I'm rushing through my drawers looking for something when I see a little flash of black streak across my dresser and into my slightly adjar underwear drawer. (HAHA! "Streak" into the underwear drawer? Funny.)


I froze. It was a spider. A disgusting black jumping spider, the kind that has a teeny bit of yellow and red on him. I HATE those. Some distant relative, do doubt, of the evil and crafty giant spider Shelob from Lord of the Rings. How dare, how DARE he venture into my room OR go into my drawer.


The moment of decision:
A.) I'm going to be late for church if I deal with this beast!
B.) If I don't deal with the beast I won't be able to sleep in this room peacefully tonight or ever reach for my—ehem—'unmentionables' in this drawer again!


What to do!?


In such situations I'd say the lesser of two evils would be to be late for church. So this I chose.


I screeched for my dad, who came running.
"What, Dani!?"
"A spider!"
*Sigh* "I thought it had something to do with a bug because of the sound of your voice."
"It's in THAT DRAWER!" (Pointing frantically)
"What!? Where?"
"I think it's between those black pantyhose but you can't see it because it blends in. Can you just like...squish them together and hope to get it in between them? I don't care about the hose."


This he does, unsuccessfully, and the spider is briefly revealed as it scurries further into the depths of my unmentionables. This is accompanied by shrieks of "There he is there he is ahhh there he is!!!" 

The long and short of this story is that finally, at my encouragement, Dad dumped the contents of my drawer into the middle of my room and began shaking out the pieces therein one by one. Since I didn't feel I'd be much help with that task I did a motivational sort of cheer for him by hopping from one foot to another and making high pitched squeaking noises.


Eventually the evil arachnid was exposed and, before it had gotten very far—and accompanied by my new level of frenzied cheer which involved jumping on both feet and shouting— Dad ground him with his foot into my carpet and the beastie died. Dad, in that moment, was not unlike the heroic Samwise Gamgee wielding his sword to defeat the wicked Shelob and rescue a very defenseless Frodo!!!


We were late for church.
There was a slight black smudge on my carpet.
My underwear lay strewn about my room.


But dad didn't once tease or get annoyed at me like I was expecting.
He just smirked his adorable smirk when I threw my arms around him and told him he was my hero.


My dad is amazing!