In the past several weeks, I have wreaked havoc upon this unsuspecting, formerly peaceful household. I have broken to smithereens:
Not one 
but TWOglasses,
but TWOglasses,A pottery plate, 
Not one 
but TWO (TWO!) honey jars,
but TWO (TWO!) honey jars,An unopened jar of minced garlic 
And something else, I vaguely recall, but I can't remember what it was now. Might have been the spoon I put through the garbage disposal last night but was able to bend back into some semblance of what it had been.
?
It's beginning to cross the line from embarrassment to incredulousity (which I don't think is a word... but why not just break the rules of the English language while I'm breaking everything else my hand touches?).
My responses have varied, through the mayhem, from trying to hide the shards in the garbage can (didn't work...he smelled the garlic)
...To cringing as the piece slips from my fingers and smashes on the floor,
...To being really, really shocked (Will someone please save the world from me before I destroy it!?)
...To praying that God would put the pieces back together (Yes, I did. I heard a story where that happened once but it didn't work for me. Go figure!)
...To resignation. This must just be my life right now.
Breaking things.
Soooo humbling. There's nothing that brings you to a point of abject humility quite like a phase of breaking other peoples possessions.
Please pray it passes quickly and in the meantime I think I will go buy some bubble wrap and enshroud all valuables in it.
Oh and poor Mr. Gren. He's handling it like a trooper... other than a few wry remarks about how I have "broken" the record and have actually destroyed more things than he and Miss Elisabeth combined, the past 33 years.
you know, this type of thing can be really contagious...merely just READING about breaking things might start an outBREAK. no pun, intended. ;)
ReplyDeleteI did NOT laugh when I read this..................................I howled! Does that make you mad at me? =-/ I'm sorry, just think of it as laughing 'w/ you'. =-P Hope you pull out of it soon! =-D
ReplyDeleteOh dear friends. You are so helpful.
ReplyDeletelol!
Oh, poor Dani, thats horrible! I feel your pain...I get frustrated breaking my own stuff much less everyone elses. I tallied up my most recent breaks of other's property and it's comparable to yours...I just spread mine out to several individuals instead of one ...hopefully they won't get together in the same room to discover how destructive I really am :)
ReplyDeleteThere's a country music song in here somewhere.
ReplyDelete-Kev
Hilarious, Dani! Also, big brother is going to add.... (to quote) "There's nothing that brings you to a point of abject humility quite like..."having your little sister post her face on the internet in a variety of bizarre contortions. Oh, well, I've actually CAUSED a few of those faces on you before... (and YOU'VE caused a few on me - i.e. blackberries+ditch+ladder+2= ?)
ReplyDelete