A farewell post that, upon perusal, reads more like a Graduation speech

I wish I could just be concise and "wow" Carlee with an amazing post that captures all my feelings in few short paragraphs, like she did me, But it ain't happening. Car has that uncanny ability to bring people to tears with her words without even trying.

No fair, big sis.

In fact I became so engrossed in writing this at the Chicago O'Hare airport that I was uncomfortably close to missing my seat on the plane. So, bear with me or feel free to bail out somewheres along the way. (Psst! I'll never know if you do! That's the beauty of this blog! I can ramble and you can ditch me without hurting my feelings!)

I’m not sure how a dingy little town like Nome can work it’s way under your skin, but somehow it managed. And I’m not sure how one little person who you’ve only known for 11 months nearly can wrench your heart out with one “bye-bye” wave with his impossibly chubby hands, but he managed that too.

I’m finding that it’s often a sad when you’re leaving one era of life and moving into another; especially when you’re not quite sure what to expect from the new and you truly loved the old. But as the quote I love says, “Don’t cry that it’s over…laugh that it ever happened.” That’s how I want to live my life. Because I think it shows much trust in the One who is guiding my life and the ability to embrace the joy He’s given without wallowing in the longing for the past.

Well, okay. Correction. That sounds all good and noble but I’ve got to be honest and say I cried my eyes out in the sky between Nome and Anchorage. So yeah… I guess crying that it’s over has it’s place. J

But, I’m compiling a list of the reasons I “laugh that it ever happened”:

-First and foremost, because I’ve renewed acquaintance with my best friend; and I’ve been able to walk with her and Nathaniel through the hardest time in their life. Wow I love you guys! And how could I EVER describe the thankfulness I feel that Jesus let me walk this road with my sister!? She is an amazing woman and I’ve learned so much by the deep joy and tenderness of her resilient spirit. For not being perfect, she’s purty close. ;) And Nathaniel is such a deeply caring person; so full of love and thoughtfulness. He still loves me after a year of non-stop Daniness and that’s saying a lot! Man, I get so frustrated at times like these because how do you put wordless thoughts into writing? How do I capture the way my heart swells with deep love and emotion when I think of my sister? How on earth can I bottle up the conversations and laughter and tears and travels and adventures and sickness and healing and prayers and hard work of the past 13 months and spill it out in a few sentences of type? It’s impossible and I wish it wasn’t. I wish I could somehow say something that would thank Carlee for who she is and for what the past year has meant to us. But I don’t know how, really.

-Another reason I smile; because I lived in Alaska for the chunk of a year! I love this land! I saw moose, musk ox, reindeer, orcas, eagles, seal, fox, and otter. Tasted walrus and muktuk (whale blubber). Learned to enjoy musk ox and moose. Drove a snow machine and rode a dogsled. Went on hunts with my brother in law. Flew through town on a 6 or 4 wheeler (I’d never get sick of that). Hiked mountains and gazed at glaciers. Sat by fires on the Bering beach. Walked downtown Nome almost daily. Experienced daylight at 4:ooam. Jumped in icy rivers and caught my first salmon. Traveled in a little plane to an Alaskan village with my brother as the pilot. Wooohoo! It’s been so fun to be an Alaskan!

-Because I got to be an auntie for a solid year to little ones that I normally don’t get to see very often! I’m not going to sugarcoat: I nearly went insane a few times. But overall, I’ve enjoyed the journey and I cherish those 5 little Hobbits with my whole heart. I wish you all could know them because they are amazing. Really. We’re talking above average on the CuteO’Meter, SweetO’Meter, WellBehavedO’Meter and any other O’Meter that you could come up with. I wish I had kept a log of all the unbelievable cute things they’d say every day. And I wish I could freeze them at this age until I see them again. Especially Wes and Caleb. There just are not words.

-Okay I’m getting too wordy, so I’m going to be briefer: Some amazing friends came into my life this year; people I cherish and love so much. Leslie Smith, the Adcox’s, Stockers, Sue Nolan, The Hansons and Fiskeaux’s, …So many dear people from the Nome Covenant Church that I just couldn’t even name them all. And some people that I wish I knew better because I’ve seen how kind and beautiful they are and what a support they’ve been to Carlee. (Nora Nagaruk, if by some chance you happen to read this, you’re one of them!!) J

-I’ve learned a lot about suffering by being with Carlee and Nathaniel in this process. I’ve learned about God’s faithfulness and His unpredictability. I’ve learned that we can’t assume we know what He’s up to, but we can bring glory to His name by trusting Him through the process and embracing the beauty He brings even through a painful process.

-I got to spend some time with my brother Nate… the sweetest, most wonderful guy ever and also the strangest. Wear padding if you ever ride behind him on a 4 wheeler across the tundra. And don’t be surprised if he kisses a plane he thinks is cool cuz… well, that’s just my Naters.

So yeah, my heart is sad right now to be leaving all this behind. But I am DEEPLY grateful that I am no longer needed for now in the Hobb’s home, because it means my sister is stronger! That reality completely thrills me and fills me with so much hope and gladness. And I am overflowing with thankfulness and joy for the lessons I’ve learned, the people I’ve met, the relationships that have been strengthened, and the experiences I’ve had. Once again, God gave treasures from a very dark time. (Isaiah 45:3)

This is a long post. (HA! Understatement.) But if you’re still reading, all the way at the end here, perhaps you will have realized that I’m probably writing this more for myself than anyone else. :) I needed to sit and remember and thank Jesus for the blessings of the last year, and be a little sad that the gift of time with my sister's family is over. But... not sad enough to cry again. You know. (wink)

Oh and, promise: no more wordy posts for a long time.