What I Miss:

A warm, cuddly baby body after bath time... dancing wildly around the living room... the first grin from a happy baby who's ready for nappy-time to be over...long talks with Nathaniel... laughing until our sides ache with Carlee... putting pretties in little hairdo's... wrestling a mean wolf... bedtime kisses... improv story time... morning snuggles and silkies... reminiscing over old treasures in the garage... Shaina's pinkness... Noah's gallantry... Kate's placid eyes... Wes's kissable cheeks...keeping my baby bears safe from the bad hunter... The love of my amazing Alaskan family! How grateful I am to God for the incredible blessing He's given me in you! It was a special month. And it still makes me smile. :)

And shall I fear

That there is anything that men hold dear

Thou wouldst deprive me of,

And nothing give in place?

That is not so –

For I can see Thy face

And hear Thee now:

‘My child, I died for thee.

And if the gift of love and life

You took from Me,

Shall I one precious thing withhold –

One beautiful and bright,

One pure and precious thing withhold?

My child, it cannot be.’

Today I read this poem by Betty Stam in Quest For Love, Elisabeth Elliot's book (which, incidentally, I highly recommend!) It was written during Betty's college years, when she was struggling between her love for a man and a possibly conflicting call to missions work. Added to this struggle was another choice she had to make: going where she felt she might be called (Africa) or going where she'd always wanted to go (China).

God did eventually give her the man and the country she wanted! But the point is, she held these things (and from the little bit I know about her it seems that she held everything) so loosely. Anything that God desired to take from her, she was willing to surrender. Even something as noble as missionary work.

Only THREE years later, Betty and her husband John were beheaded by Chinese communists. The life of their infant daughter was miraculously, amazingly saved.

It strikes me that Betty did not know for what she asked when she petitioned God to give her the man she loved and the country she loved. She didn't know that it would lead to a nightmarish death for both of them in a few years. But her death, (meaning her "crucifiction",) was already accompished when she prayed the following prayer! I know that she would affirm that the beheading in China was a small, very small part of it.

“Lord, I give up my own purposes and plans, all my own desires, hopes and ambitions (whether they be fleshly or soulish), and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee, to be Thine forever. I hand over to Thy keeping all of my friendships; all the people whom I love are to take a second place in my heart. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Work out Thy whole will in my life, at any cost, now and forever. To me to live is Christ. Amen.”

May God fill me with the passion, surrender, and spirit of this beautiful woman.

I don't know much about these incredible heroes, but I want to study their lives. Here's a site where you can read their life stories and some awesome quotes too. Please take the time to read it, because it's incredible!!! I think you'll be blessed and challenged by it, like I was.

I'm thinking about what I am asking God for today, and wondering... will it cost me everything? (And if not, is it even worth praying for?) Can I put to death my will in every matter (small and great) that conflicts with the will of God right now? If not, I can not hope for a martyr's crown. My death HAS to start today.

A proposal, of sorts.

Noah: "Aunt Dani, you know what? I'm gonna marry you."

Dani: Aww.... "Noah, I love you too... but I can't marry you, silly boy!"

Noah: "But I'm gonna marry you."
Dani: (laughing!)"When?"
Noah: (thinking hard) ...Well....when I'm all grown up. How old are you?"
Dani: "24."
Noah: "Then when I'm as old as that I will marry you."

Dani: "No, Noah, I'm your aunt so you can't marry me. But there is a special little girl somewhere and when you both are all grown up you can marry her. So you can pray for her and ask Jesus to help her to love Him."

Shaina: "Noah, or you could marry Poppie."

Noah (confused): "Shaina...? ....But..., I think Poppie's already married."

Zoo-ing

We went to the zoo and rain forest yesterday, and the kids loved it. So did auntie Dani. :) Noah and Shaina bought long bright blue and pink snakes, respectively, and have spent all day playing with them. The blue one has bitten me countless times today.

God showed his amazing grace in the face of my reluctant obedience while we were there. It was just our family in a little shop there, and the lady behind the register was friendly and talkative. I felt the Lord prompting me to give her a tract, but the enemy immediately hounded me with the fear of man. It's been a few months since I've shared my faith with a stranger, I'm ashamed to say. It's always amazingly hard to get back into practice. The only tract I had said "HELP FROM ABOVE" in bold letters on the front, and had only scripture inside. No commentary or ice breaker. It's not my choice tract, but I had stuffed a few in my purse and it was that or nothing.
I wrestled with it for a while and then decided not to do it. I dislike the bold "HELP FROM ABOVE" title because it seems to be such a condescending thing to hand someone. I was allowing the enemy to paralyze me with fear about... what!? I don't even know. How is it that such a small issue as this raises such timidity within me?
As I was walking away, God spoke strongly to my heart with the truth that this could be the woman's only chance... God could have placed me in that shop for such a time as this. I prayed for strength and walked over to her once again. I thanked her for her friendliness and said, "Hey... this is a little something that has meant a lot to me. I wanted to share it with you, too, and I hope you'll get a chance to read it." I handed it to her, trying to strategically place my thumb over the now blinking neon "HELP FROM ABOVE". I failed. She took it from my hand and immediately looked deeply into my eyes. "I need help," she said. "I really need help. Thank you for giving this to me." Her 3 yr. old granddaughter has just been molested by someone with AIDS. Her 2 yr. old grandson has autism. She is trying to gain custody of them. She told me that she has plenty of time behind the register to read the little booklet I gave her... and perhaps, she said, it's just what she needs right now.
I know that it IS exactly what she needs right now, and I thank God for using such a reluctant, foolish child as me... in spite of myself. I hope my zoo friend has stepped closer to Jesus because of our exchange.

These tiny frogs delighted me. What a Creator!!! (They seemed to be pretty socially inclined, as far as amphibians go.)

I truly love lemurs. They're darling!

Carlee and I! What a treasure my sissy is.

"Mimi and Poppy" with Wes. I'm glad Dad didn't have to work so he could join us!!

Katie-Bug

Noah, Shaina, and I with the pink and blue snakes :)

Okay: Time to show off my little Alaskan Hobbits.
Maybe it was only REALLY CUTE to me because I'm their auntie. But I was loving it. Nathaniel put on some goofy music as we were sitting around after dinner, and Noah, Shaina, and Kate started dancing. :) Got some pretty good moves going eh? (Oh and check out the girl's funky hairstyles. They are amazingly patient while I play with their hair.) I am so blessed to be an auntie to these sweet things!




Not to be outdone by his elder siblings' antics, Baby Wes sat in the high chair grinning in all his radiant toothyness. That boy melts his auntie's heart!! He's so fun to kiss when he's all rosy, warm and cuddly after a nap. He's got a big obsession with ceiling fans, and literally every time he toddles into a room and sees one (even if he just saw it 3 minutes ago) he pauses, raises his arms in a worshipful pose, throws his head way back and whispered with his eyes big, "Ohhhh, waaaaah!"



I'll probably post some more vids of the rest of the family later.

By the way, not to be random but is this font too small?

Dueling Holy Books

Excerpts from Muhammad's letter this morning:

MY DEAR SISTER AND FRIEND TODAY I WILL TALK ABOUT MY HOLY QURAN ONLY , I WILL PROOF TO YOU THAT THERE IS ONLY 1 ALLAH , AND JESUS(Peace Be Upon Him ) IS HIS MESSENGER.

PLZZZ READ MY EVERY STAEMENT OF MY EMAIL WITH ATTENTION , BECUSE I AM WRITING FOR U ... SO THAT YOU COULD REALISE THAT JESUS NEVER PREACHED CHISTIANITY , HE ALWAYS PREACHED ISLAM.

I HAVE a VERRY VERY VERY SMALL QUESTION FOR U .

WHERE IN UR BIBLE JESUS(P.B.U.H) TOLD U THE WORD CHRISTIANITY OR CRUCIFICTION.

MY DEAR SISTER LIFE IS TOO SHOT, SO READ HOLY QURAN, U WILL FIND THAT IN YOUR RELIGION THERE ARE INFINITE ERORS.

ISLAM IS A RELIGION IN WHICH WE 1ST UNDERSTAND AND THEN WE BELIVE.

BUT IN OTHER RELIGIONS YOU FIRST BELIVE , THEN STILL YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND.

(He likes capitals, size 20 font, color, and highlighting. His letters are dizzying!)

He goes on to site several instances where the Quran intimated scientific facts long before they were officially discovered. Such as, the orbit of the planets. "How could men have written this without the inspiration of God?" he asks.

His questions are hard to answer. As you see above, some of them are hard to answer only because of how rediculously illogical they are.

And then there is the question I constantly ask the Holy Spirit: "should I argue this one with him? Or should I just speak of Jesus yet again in my next letter and ignore the foolish questions?" I'm greatful that the Spirit of God is fighting this one and it's not up to me... because Mohammad's case would be hopeless if that were not so.

Please... pray for him if you think of it!

And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel. -Eph. 6:19
(What a mind boggling privilege that is!!)

An Ode to Nate (wherein he tries to figure out why I am buttering him up.)

This is my favorite pic of Nate and I, even though it was taken a century ago. Pun intended!

That brother of mine...
...He's a funny guy. :)
He made a video for a class at his church in Arkansas which I just finished watching.
I think he's a pretty stellar actor!
(He gets it from me.)
I have to take this opportunity to say how very much I love and admire Nate! His passion for souls, his eagerness to serve the body of Christ, and his love for those around him is incredible to me. He's studying to be a missionary pilot, and his dedication to this call and sacrifice in order to see it come to pass has been a challenge to me. He's been willing to give up great desires and little comforts alike to further the kingdom of Christ and press towards the goal God has set before him.
Not only that, but Nate is the funnest guy I know. He makes me laugh harder than anyone else, and always brags about it, too. ("You can't NOT laugh if I want you to!" ...Augh!) Nate, thank you for the love and example you've given to me as my big brother. You're one of my heroes.


And I'm not buttering you up.

Setting Esther Straight, Part II

Wahoo! My cord arrived today, so here are the pictures I promised. Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to put them in order. (Gotta love being a novice blogger.)

The wedding party
(Notice my beautiful sister and handsome bro-in-law, front left.)

Being a flower girl really is hard work, and Princess Shaina felt the need to sit by herself and sulk for a few moments when no one saw her tears. (Or rather, when no one cared.) Auntie Dani did see though, and with Aunt-like sympathy I gleefully snapped photos of her as she brooded.
Esther and William getting ready, with fear and trepidation, to eat the first bite of cake. It doesn't much look like they trust each other! (wink) They smashed it, btw!

Esther chose this glorious church for their wedding. It was breathtaking... and maybe the only church in Pennsylvania worthy to house such an amazing wedding.

At the reception, Noah and Kate and I had fun blowing the "Kissing Whistles" :)
Noah said "Auntie Dani, I like it when they kiss!
(This picture was taken shortly before Kate's diaper leaked onto my lap.)

I was blessed to get to know Louise (left), who is Esther's friend from Ireland! I had heard about her and was so glad to finally meet her. She has such a beautiful spirit, and a beautiful singing voice to match. :) And with her Irish accent I think I could have listened to her talk for hours. :) It was SOOO good to see my friend Danelle (middle) again too! It's been way too long!

The Bridesmaids: Danelle, Tina, Julie, and Carlee

My dear Julie (who looked so lovely!) with Kate and Shaina. Due to a rare and sudden fit of carnality on Kate's part, auntie Dani was unable to take a second picture even though this one was blurry.

Part of my job was to get the nieces and nephews down the isle on time. I believe it took a good year or two off my life. ;-)

Car and I waiting with some of the kiddos during the picture taking

Fixing Esther's niece Emmalyn's dress before the wedding. Emmy is such a sweet girl! She was Carlee's little flower girl and now she is growing into such a precious young lady who loves the Lord.

All that fun stuff that happens behind the scenes moments before the wedding

Essie and I :) She has had such an impact on my life, and the the glory that her romance and marriage brought to Christ was amazing. Her relationship with William is truly a picture of Christ and His bride!!
I praise God for allowing me to be Esther's friend, fellow auntie to the Hobbs kids, and partner in crime at Lake Titus. :)

A parting shot: my nephew Wesley, the littlest member of the bridal party.

Dormant Seed

My dear friend and I have been walking similar roads of late. We both have almost identical dreams that seem to be dead. God delights in the faith that causes us to place our dream-seed in his hands. He buries it deep in the dirt and allows the harshest of elements to seal it in it's tomb... but is it a tomb? It's not that it's died; it's only begun to live.

It is Winter.
And outside the trees are skeletons and ice coats everything.
All is dormant,
And the world waits with eager hope to feel the breath of spring.
And the birdsong
That has filled the earth with wild joy, and hope and life
Is all quiet,
As they huddle in the branches to escape from winter's strife.
And my heart, too,
Feels the fridged cold and icy finger's grip,
While a dream seed
Lays a shivering beneath the soil in sleep.
And it may seem
Like the seed is dead and Spring will never grace the world above,
But in it's tomb,
God is working on the tiny seed in unforgotten love.
And when time's right,
I will see a sprout as birds begin to laugh and ice starts weeping,
And I'll know then,
That the seed I thought He'd killed was only sleeping.

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit."
John 12:24

Setting Esther Straight

Well, I've got a disappointment for those of you who begged me to take pics at Esther's wedding. My camera's USB cord is lost, so (-though I took quite a few great pictures-) you'll have to wait until I buy a new cord to see them! Sorry.
But, in an attempt to appease the public, here instead is a picture of Esther and I on our great Alaskan Adventure almost a year ago to the day. (Please notice my cool hat, because I was terribly proud of it!) This is while she was still a Hobbs. She is now Mrs. William Straight. And it was the most beautiful, Christ-honoring, romantic wedding I've ever seen in my life. Esther is an amazing woman, and as I was praying on the scenic drive home from Pennsylvania, I asked God to make me more like her.

Wow! What a way to spend Valentine's Day! Pictures to follow. :)

Post Script: If you do not know this about me by now, it's about time you did. I have more camera issues than anyone else on the face of the earth. If I remember my camera, I forget my camera card. If I remember my camera card, my batteries won't work. If my camera works, my memory is full and I can't take pictures until I delete others. And, if all that goes alright... I lose my USB cord. Alas!